There are many unwritten rules that people must abide by in all walks of life. These unwritten rules have helped many people function within general society. These unwritten rules, or recommendations as they should be classified as, can help keep many people out of troublesome situations, and can help add to the greater good, and make society run slightly smoother. These recommendations are mainly for the folks that are very opinionated, and do not possess the abilities or mental capabilities to form different opinions. These unwritten rules or recommendations, which ever you want to refer to them as, will be listed below. Pay attention, the content in the following article just may save your life someday.

1. Never intentionally anger a man that drives a 4x4 and carries a gun and a shovel in his truck.

2. If you see your neighbor digging a hole in his backyard in the middle of the night, do not ask questions.

3. Never smoke crack, it will make you dumb.

4. Never trust a man that wears pointed shoes.

5. Never trust a person that does not like bacon.

6. Do not ever anger a veteran with an alibi.

7. Never make fun of a man with a window air conditioner hung in the back window of his truck, this is not idiotic, but rather pure genius

8. If one person “did it” and did not survive, don’t think you will prevail

9. Never stick your tongue to a bug zapper

10. If your wife tells you “go ahead and do it”, never do that, it is a trap

11. When talking to your wife, never begin the sentence with the phrase “your f@!&#n mother

12. Do not ever under any circumstances get a tattoo by a man with a sense of humor that does not speak English

I truly hope that the pointers that I have listed in this section can be proven to be beneficial to somebody. These are actual life experiences, which are not to be taken lightly. To explain number 12, some friends and I walked into a tattoo parlor in Seoul Korea, being a little festive with the local drink, we got tattoos. My tattoo was a Korean symbol that is supposed to mean good luck, after years have passed, I am beginning to wonder. I am actually afraid to find out exactly what the symbol means. Mainly all I remember is this Korean man giggling and saying, “I tattoo GI, I tattoo GI good hehehehe”.

Also in regard to number 2, sometimes at night I cannot sleep, so a few months ago, when it was still warm, I walked out into my backyard, and started digging a hole. My neighbor was on his back porch, and just looked very puzzled and perplexed, and just walked away.

Also, if your wife, looks at you and says it’s ok go ahead and do it, under any circumstances, do not go ahead and do it, I’m still getting gripped at for things I was told to “go ahead and do” ten years ago. For example, the wife says, “OK go out to the garage and drink with your buddies”, I’m hangover the next day, but during the night, did she appreciate the sculpture that I made her out of used spark plugs, and rubber cement, no. It usually goes something like, did you have a good time, and I hope you did, while I was here watching television by myself all night. My response, I was six feet from the front door, you were more than welcome to come outside. Her response, what and hang around a bunch of smelly drunk men. But anyway, the point I’m trying to prove is you cannot win an argument with a woman, it has never been done, and never will be done. Also, if you are ever attempting to win an argument with a woman, never describe her mother while beginning the sentence with a profanity.

Crack will make you dumb, if you smoke crack not only are you dumb for smoking it, but it will make you dumber. Enough said.

OK, many people have tried to go over Niagara Falls, in a barrel, some have survived, and some have not. If you know of a person that has gotten killed or severely injured by trying to push over a cow, do not think to yourself, “well he just did it wrong”. Granted I was just using the cow scenario as an example, but you get the point, and if you don’t, refer back to the previous paragraph.