I stopped whining to myself and eyed the unconscious girl critically.

No injuries, good.

Wait.

The blood on her neck was gone—but there were small slices there, almost like—

Hey, I don't know everything that people get up to and I'm fine with not knowing. Biting a girl? Did he lick her off or something?

"Listen, mister," I snapped. Dark eyes shot to meet mine. "Nightclub does not entitle you to be a vampire, so keep your fangs to yourself."

Up 'til this point, I hadn't had any kind of vampire-related thoughts at all. I was grumpy that I was here. I'd been running through lesson plans in my head to block out the music and drunken shouting.

The man's eyes widened in surprise. He looked me up and down as if to reassure himself that yes, I was there.

All five foot four of me, jeans and unzipped jacket and all, yes, genius. My car also existed, much as I wished I was in it right now.

"I signed the contract," he said. "Anyone on the premises is mine."

So that was creepy.

He sneered at my still-gagging friend. "I have taste, however."

Right, time to abandon the creepy loser. Pronto. I tugged on my friend and backed out of there. Back to the noise. Back to the seizure lights. Back—

"Ah, no, I'm afraid I don't remember a female signature on the contract," sleaze ball said. He was between us and the suddenly attractive populated swarm of bodies. "You don't look like one of us, either. Mind showing your fangs, sweetie?"

Cult, I decided. I prepared to steer us out of the empty fire exit.

The man smirked. "Com'ere, darling." I bristled.

I gaped as my friend walked forward right into his arms. The man smiled. He opened his mouth while I stood there uselessly. "You're next." 

Two sets of fangs bit into my friend's neck.

It wasn't until he dropped her to the floor (seconds later, unless his mouth came with a vacuum she was fine) that I took the preparatory step forward to slap him. 

Wait a second, I didn't want to punch those grinning teeth. Teeth that were covered with blood.

My friend's blood.

When I stepped backward, he stepped over her body and resumed watching me.

I fled.

So maybe we weren't quite at the level of kidnapping—still teenage, though, because teenagers write the cute vampire novels—but I was very much thinking of my vampire knowledge now.

I would be caught.

I would be bitten.

All in all, it was a really stupid idea to have picked the free all-night parking several blocks away from the club. Had I thought I'd carry my friend that far? Stupid.

My feet were in direct competition with my heavily labored breathing, enough to drown out any sounds of pursuing. Said feet finally got me within barking distance of my car (it doesn't believe in yips) and I reached into a pocket to wriggle out my keys as I kept running. "Ha!" I panted. I aimed the remote at my vehicle, heard its affirming bark, and planned the quickest way to get in my car without tearing off a door.

Pound, pound, pant, p—

Something solid materialized in front of me and I found myself no longer on the pavement. I tried to scream, but I couldn't catch enough air.

The parking lot's dim lights flickered and showed sharp things that looked kind of like fangs, in a face—

Those fangs flew toward my neck and I quickly discovered that yes, I could scream. I could scream really loudly, and—

A hand slapped over my mouth. I bit at it and spasmed my body with core strength I was usually proud of.

The vampire bit back. And not a retort.

I couldn't breathe through my mouth or my nose and kicking felt like I'd rip my own muscles out on those fangs.

I followed the laws of nature and found a measure of unconscious relief.