He stared down at his phone, the light from his screen reflected his confusion and doubt. He was lost for words--and yet he had said so much. When he had messaged her he didn’t know what to say. His words couldn’t line up with the reality that was forming for him, everything he had come to know was different.

“I can’t even understand myself”, he muttered as he read over all that he had sent her.

“I just want to be your only one..”

“But i know your freedom is why I love you anyway…”

“My sweetheart…” the words burned, it was so bittersweet. The feelings he had felt for her. It was probably more than that though. It was his feelings for everyone, all of his vulnerabilities. He had open his heart to his lover, and with that she held all of his fate.

“Im too tough for this shit! Why would I ever love a bi-” as those words left his lips he fell silent. He couldnt call her out of her name.

“I guess I’m too far gone” he said and as he did so his throat grew tight. He could feel her again--her grip stealing the breathe from his lungs. His heartbeat grew heavy with the asphyxiation, and with each thunder like thud he could feel life leaving his spirit. So he called out into the darkness, “Why!? Why does it feel like I’m dying.”

“Why does life without you feel like death?”

Valentine would have cried but the world had dried his tears. He was just too strong, too much of a man and incapable of the weakness. If the world could not see him it didn't matter, he could not stand to see himself in tears. Yet even as his brain numbed his mind, an unknown immune response. He had still met his lowest.

He was waiting but his heart rate had missed the memo. Valentine’s couldn't control the racing feeling crashing against his chest. It’s tempo so sporadic it had become dangerous.

“Please answer…” Valentine groaned. “ Just answer the phone! Argh.” and again Valentine couldn't help but hate himself. “Why do I care! Why am I letting this affect me..?” He shouted and threw his hands in a violent flurry. His fist kissed the air bearing his malice but it was unable to do anything. He broke through the space without resistance and the surge of energy couldn’t satiate his anger. So he attempted to put his mind into other things.

He did whatever he could, fiddling with instagram or youtube each moment a desperate attempt to find some answers. Though nothing could satiate Valentine, in truth he had already known the truth. He knew what he waited so desperately to know, yet the slow wait for confirmation felt like poison. Poison so deadly and yet he thirsted for it like it was the antidote. The method in which to cure his aching heart.

“Ding” His phone lit up suddenly. His heart fell just as fast as the message zipped into his atmosphere.He took a deep breathe and tried to steel his crippling emotions. He turned his phone screen on, first staring at the hovering notification on the lock screen. He was scared, more frightened of this news than anything he had ever waited on. With a deep breathe he went through the message.

It only took a moment, for him to crumple under the weight of the words on screen. The letters had burned themselves into his reality faster than he could read them. It was instantaneous his let down and heartbreak. So he cried, and the floodgates that held his tears fell.

“Argh! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What is the point of love again?!” Valentine cried.

“I cant do this! My heart is done.

Love? What a feeling is that?

A feeling is just a feeling so..

Love must mean nothing like…”

Valentine cursed he shouted, with each roar of his mind shattering the restraints. He had just felt it now, the hate that which came love. Resentment, the feeling was just as powerful. Chain breaking-ly he was losing it. His affection for her worsened with the thought each realization turning his love sour. Yet the same time he was unable to destroy it, the bond between his lover and him had been real. In his waiting, his phone lit up again. The next message that came through his screen had been scarier than the first.

“Come see me.”

He read it and then spat, “Come see you…” he was about to snarl.

“How can I face you now?” Valentine said. His face had went through a variety of emotions--like a gallery exhibiting his emotive response. His sadness, anger resentment and then suspiciously love.

“I really wish I could see you again…” Valentine thought. “I want to see her even if its my last time.”