The first time I saw you was at the bakery. I'd seen you many times before as I passed by on my way home. I always caught a glimpse of you helping a customer or carrying a tray of something sweet to the display case. I don't know how many days went that like until that day happened, the day I realized I was falling for you. That day started different than other days, I woke up at the same time as any other day, but as I stared at all the clothes I had worn so many times before, I suddenly didn't want them. In the back of my closet, tucked away behind all the winter clothes was a sun dress I had forgotten I even owned. My confidence was high when I bought it but as soon as I brought it home I hid away, somewhat ashamed that I done something so bold. It was a white dress with blue flowers blooming over it, with modest straps, designed to fit nicely around the chest and waist and then dramatically flare out. That day, I wanted nothing more than to curl my difficult to tame hair, put on the blue heels that were hidden away as well, and wear that dress.

Why did I do this?  I asked myself as I walked down the street. 

I didn't have a destination in mind, I didn't even have a reason to be wearing the dress I suddenly needed in my life. I kept my eyes down as I walked, realizing that the world's eyes could all be on me at once. It wasn't until I caught the comforting scent of bread and pastries baking that I looked up. It was the same bakery I passed everyday, but today, today it seemed far more important that I stopped and took in every inch of that bakery. That's when I saw you, decorating a cake at the right side of the window, a small crowd was gathering to watch you. I'd seen others at that window doing the same thing and never given them more than a glance. 

But I couldn't take my eyes off of you. You must have been working longer than the time of day suggested. Your messy bun was messier than usual, strands of hair that slipped out had been quickly put back in place with a pin. Your usually white coat was splashed with various colors that I saw everyday in that bakery. You pushed your bright red hair out of your face and left behind a large smear of white frosting. I couldn't help but smile, you didn't even notice it! Your brown eyes were solely focused on making that cake beautiful. One of your co-workers pointed out the frosting painted along your forehead, and you ran a finger through the frosting.

When you saw your finger you instantly laughed and while my ears didn't hear it, my heart did because it fluttered so furiously that I had to put a hand over my chest to hide it. You looked out the window with a huge smile, waving to the people watching you. For a moment, I thought our eyes met. Yes, they definitely met because there was nothing else but that smile that could have knocked the air out of me. Nothing else could have stirred up such a ball of butterflies in my stomach and sent them flying. I walked as fast as I could in those blue heels, my heart still fluttering, and I didn't stop until I reached my home. Even as I stood over my bathroom sink, splashing water on face, my heart wouldn't slow. Each time my heart pounded in my ears I saw that hair, that dedicated face, that smile. My feet throbbed from the heels and the dress was sticky with sweat. I forced myself to stand in the cold shower hoping each shocking droplet would calm me. When my heart and stomach finally settled, my mind that started running.

What was that?

It's just because she's beautiful. Whose heart wouldn't flutter at someone attractive?

This hasn't happened before, it was probably just a fluke.

I wonder if she saw me, I would have liked that.

No no, don't be ridiculous. There were a lot of people there, of course she didn't see me.

I'm falling for her.

My mind kept be busy that night, even when blanket and pillow told it to sleep. By time morning came, my body nor my mind provided me with an explanation for it's tantrum. I went through my day as normally as I could, putting on my usual clothes, stopping to get my usual cup of coffee, burying myself in my usual work, and for a while that almost worked. I almost went three full days without thinking I saw your face walking down the street or by my desk at work. I almost went to sleep without thinking of your smile again and I almost didn't see your red hair when I woke up each day. I even almost didn't look for you in the bakery. This series of “almost” became the new normal for me, until almost came crashing down inside me when I saw you through that bakery glass again. The moment I saw you step through that door carrying a tray of cupcakes, it was hard to breath, my face flushed.

If I get any closer, she really will take my breath away.

That danger didn't stop me from walking straight up to the counter and standing there just a few short feet away from you. My breath was taken away. I didn't notice the freckles that dotted your nose and cheeks, or the small bird tattoo on your wrist. “Hi, what can I help you with today?” you asked me. I wasn't ready to hear your voice, I wasn't ready for it to fall over me like a velvet song.

Can you help stop my pounding heart?

“Oh um, two cupcakes please. The flavor doesn't matter” I stammered out, watching my eyes grip the counter.

“Oh course the flavor matters! It's the most important part, now I bet I can guess your favorites.”

You stood with one hand on your hip, the other tapping your cheek in thought. You scanned me over, nodding from time to time. I braved a glance from time to time, never daring to linger too long.

“I've got it!” You exclaimed and grabbed a small box. I watched as you walked to the display case, the sway of your hips caused me to stir and flush again. My eyes darted away, when I saw you coming back. I made sure I was staring at the counter, even when you slid the small box towards me.

“Here you go! One strawberry short cake, and one cookies and crème. Did I get it right?” You asked with such anticipation and excitement that caused them to instantly become my favorites.

“Yes, you're right! These look delicious..but I only asked for two.”

Your smile grew instantly, “Well you looked like you had a long day, so I threw in another for good measure. It's white chocolate and raspberry, it's my favorite.”

“Oh you didn't have to do that...” I was so moved by the generous gesture, that I courage suddenly surged through me enough to stare into those bright brown eyes.

“I wanted to. Let me know how you like it!”

“I will, thank you...I didn't catch your name.”

I didn't catch your name?! What am I doing?

“I'm Penelope, pleased to meet you”

“You too, I-I'm Avery”

That was all the courage I had left in me, I threw some cash on the table and darted out the door. I dashed back to my home, guarding that little box of cupcakes like it was the solution to world peace. When I got home, I just started at the cupcakes, wondering if you had made them. If it was you who placed that slice of strawberry on top of that fluffy swirl of frosting, or crumpled those cookies. The one I stared at the longest was the raspberry white chocolate one, the one you said was your favorite. I smiled and placed a hand on my stomach to catch the butterflies, cherishing the thought that I knew something about you. I knew about something you loved enough to call your favorite. In that moment, I was certain I wouldn't be able to tell you if I liked it or not, because I wouldn't be able to eat it. If I did, I would no longer have something that was your favorite.