She was tired, but unable to doze off. Too much anticipation was running through her blood. She rolled over to hug her pillow to her chest. Clutched it close to feel it's comfort for the countless time. A result of her restlessness. She'd woken up far before the sun. Greeted by gray gradients of her room. Only stark shadows to keep her company. Staring out the window, she watched the dim glow of purple begin to wink out the stars in the sky.
Dawn was just now breaking.
John was arriving for Spring deliberations today. She didn't know if it would be the morning or evening ship that he'd disembark. Her heart was twisting so many thoughts and emotions. It wanted so badly for the time to pass. To see him. Be in his presence instead of seeing his neat print on a peice of paper. But it also was also full of apprehension. She knew how to interact with him with letters. That was the space she best knew him in. There was barely any reference to interaction with him in person. Their dances and awkward conversations were all she had from Fall deliberations.
She pondered on her insecurities as the sky continued to turn. A futile bit of hope told her she could try to catch a bit more sleep. It was a lie. Her eyes were going to stay open. Mind unbridled as well. With a watery eyed yawn, she released her clutch on the pillow. Slipped from the bed. Fell into routine.
It was an automatic process she'd perfected. To the kitchen to light the stove. Care for the kindling until it glowed with shimmering coals. Put a kettle on. Prep a mug with herbs for tea. Her stomach was flighty, but she forced herself to eat a light breakfast of crackers. A glass of water, and a change into a well worn dress in exchange for her night gown. The familiarity of her movements at last eased the wild energy. Both brain and body were temporarily distracted.
Tickling whistle told her the kettle was boiling. She followed it's call. Water poured into her mug, she returned to the sitting room. Her feet pulled her to the desk. Her grip on the mug tightened as she looked it over. Seeing all of his letters reignited the anxiousness. There were countless numbers of them. All spread across the surface. Some were filled to the brim with paragraphs. Others barely half a page. She'd be lying if said she hadn't read them more than once. In fact, she'd read them multiple times. Some nights staying up until every letter was read again in addition to his newest one.
With a jittery hand, she lightly pressed her fingers onto the top most letter. The she'd received only three days before. She slid it closer to her. Let her fingertips dance over ink long dried. As if she could touch him through his words at this moment. He was so close. She had to remind herself that she would. In only a handful of hours.
Back to cupping the mug in both her hands, she wandered to the couch. Feet settled under her, she let herself stare off into the far window. Blankly she gazed. Repeatedly blew soft breaths over the surface of her tea. Felt it's steam drift along her lips and tip of her nose at times. It sometimes made the bluing sky outside waver.
Sharp tapping of glass snapped her from her stupor. She flinched. A splash of her tea dripped into her lap. She hissed in pain at the stinging heat of it. Another set of taps. Her chest tingled. Heart flipped. Clinching her teeth she forced herself to go slow. Careful to not spill again, she set the cup on her tea table.
The fading pain and eagerness made her nearly jump to standing. She prayed to Lady Fate that the sound was announcing what she could only hope for. Eagerly she followed. It guided her to the kitchen window. A white raven was hopping up and down the curve of the sill. It was pecking at it's center. She could clearly see a letter in it's beak. Her heart jumped. She quickly ran to the window and pushed it open on it's hinge. The raven flapped out of the way to avoid being hit. It quickly returned, landing on the window sill again with ruffled feathers. It bobbed it's head as if in irritation at almost being incapacitated. Feeling a bit of guilt in her gut for acting so hastily, she gently took the folded parchment from it's beak. His print on the front made her feel faint. With anxious fingers she broke the seal.

My dearest L'Lea,
I've arrived in Thelmnaes.
Unfortunately, I'll be unable to call on you this morning. There are councilmen that have requested my audience in regards to pre-Deliberation inquires.
Since we'll be kept apart for the morning, I'll call on you this afternoon. I would like to treat you to a late lunch. If you find yourself unable to wait long due to hunger, please eat. We can find something else to do to entertain ourselves.
I apologize for the inconvenience. Know that I'm anxious to see you, and I look forward to this afternoon.
With deepest sentiments,
John

Without thinking, she pressed the letter to her chest. Her heartbeat as racing. Galloping through her veins. Anticipation was now coupled with excitement.
A squawk surprised her again. Realizing how silly it was to stand there, she rushed to her desk. Rummaging for paper, she nearly knocked her ink well over. She swiftly wrote him a reply. Confirmed his plans and also made sure the directions to her residence were clear enough for him to follow. She flew back to the window. The messenger bird was obviously antsy. It's head was bobbing even more furiously than before. That made it difficult to offer the folded response it. At last it plucked it from her fingers. It burst off into the mid morning sky. She watched until it disappeared from view.
Chastising herself for being useless for most of the morning, she decided to forcefully pass the time. She quickly finished her tea. Then it was out the back door to care for her quails. Her determination to thoroughly distract herself worked. She buried herself in fixing minor parts of her pens and coops that she'd been putting off. Before she knew it, the sun was hanging directly above her. That meant she was time to remove the sweat and grime. Freshen up before he arrived.
She tried not to stay too long in the bath. In a moment of silliness, she debated which bar of scented soap to use. In the end she reminded herself it didn't matter. It was another debate as she stood in front of her wardrobe. She kept rifling through her summer dresses. Couldn't decide which color or pattern to wear. One after the other fluttered to the floor. In frustration she forced herself to settle on a pale yellow one. A delicate pattern of petals bordered the bottom hem that flowed around her feet. She pulled on her shawl.
A gentle tap echoed into the house.
That faint feeling hit her again.
For last time she readjusted her outfit. Taking a deep breath, she made her way to the door. Nervous energy was making her feel like a newborn learning to walk. Feet kept stumbling. Time seemed to slow and make the door pull away from her hand. The cool metal doorknob did nothing to pull her out of her anxious state.
Tingling rippled up her throat when she opened the door. He was standing tall, a couple steps back from the door. Hair tastefully tamed to match his semi-casual attire. His crisp black military coat was half buttoned above brown breeches and coal black riding boots. He was just as handsome as she remembered him. A small wicker basket was nestled under his arm. His gentle but confident smile appeared when they made eye contact. He held out his hand. She took it with a shaky hand. His sure grip instantly made her feel grounded.
She braced herself when his lips hit her skin