Rough rhythm. Heavy pants. Sensual moans. Huffing growls. Primal whimpers. Raging ecstasy. He was bracing himself against a headboard. Her hands on his bare chest. His head was hanging over hers with a face of pure pleasure. She could clearly feel his sharp heat between her legs and filling her up to the depths of her womb. Bliss was coursing through her body.
An intense feeling of unwavering devotion and surrender of hearts crashed over her. She was his, and he was hers. Exposed love in it's purest form.
Snatched back to reality. His eyes came into focus.
Her hand jerked from his grasp. She felt breathless as she stared at him in shock. Heart was wildly rattling all over her rib cage. Disbelief flared up from her bones.
It wasn't possible.
His brows slightly furrowed in question as he straightened. It instantly registered that she had a mortified facial expression. She quickly cleared her throat and tried to collect herself. Replacing the smile she lost, she politely responded through a shaky jaw.
“Thank you, it is an honor as well, your Highness. The welcome is appreciated.” Her voice felt so uneven.
John's quizzical look faded. He nodded as his face relaxed into his gentle smile again. The brother took her hand and flashed a charming grin.
“I'm Prince Reginald. What a pleasure to meet such a lovely lady as yourself.” His voice was suave.
She flinched when his quick kiss hit her knuckles. He activated no vision. Temporary relief did nothing to dampen the adrenaline pulsing and disorienting her. She forced response.
“I appreciate your compliment. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance as well, your Highness.”
His grin curled. Their attention shifted. The welcome was repeated for Gledora. Small talk was then initiated between them. She could barely give coherent responses. They came out stuttered and broken. Her brain was still reeling from that vision. Thoughts whirled around her skull. It took massive effort to keep herself from staring directly at him.
What was she to think? Feel?
They were to be bonded, in intimacies.
No, not just intimacies. Love. Love making. A consummation of vulnerable hearts.
How could this be?
It couldn't be.
Her? In love? At nine hundred nineteen cycles? And with a human?
It didn't add up. She was a singular entity. To be alone forever with her visions. She wasn't destined for love or companionship. On this world she was supposed walked alone. No one to be buried next to her when laid to rest.
But the vision said something else. How was she to understand? Accept? A violent wash of emotions and arguments flooded her brain.
The conversation had lulled. Again she found that she'd let her inner dealings show on her face. Another forced smile and a curtsy. John reached out to take her hand to begin formal farewells. Avoiding it, she clutched her robes. She forced a wider smile. His eyes analyzed under a barely lifted brow. A change of eye contact to the younger brother.
“I wish you both a pleasant evening and look forward to joining you both in Deliberations.”
She prayed her agitation wasn't any more obvious in her voice. Both men nodded. It seemed to satisfy the awkward moment. Parting ways, the butler, who was patiently waiting began to lead them down the halls again.
“I have never seen you so distressed.” Gledora said in Ku'Vat.
Her tone was tinged with concern.
“I am beyond distressed.” She choked out.
“What happened? Did you have a vision?”
“Yes.”
“What of?”
“I will tell you when we reach our quarters.”
She knew Gledora was intently watching her. It made her feel pressure of anxiety. Adrenaline was turning into jitters. It was hard to keep her robes within her shaking grasp.
She was trying to find sentences to offer her as the butler bowed at their door before offering her the key. She weakly took it. The key wouldn't go into the hole. Her coordination was completely disrupted. Gledora's light touch took it from her and they finally stepped in.
“Sit L'Lea. You are looking more unwell every moment.”
Immediately she did was she was told. Floating across a quaint version of a sitting room, she collapsed onto a brushed leather couch that sat at it's corner. Holding her face in her hands she tried to fill her aching lungs. Everything was beginning to swirl. The agitation was overwhelming.
She felt the cushions next to her displace. Subtle touch to her shoulder.
“Take deep breaths, L'Lea. Center yourself.” Gledora gingerly coaxed.
She wanted to say she was trying. But it was a fight to get her body under control. Fingers slowly took hold of one of her hands. She felt the other encase it. A soft squeeze and a rubbing of thumbs stole the attention of her mind. With a target to focus on, her thoughts began unraveling themselves. With a heavy swallow, she loosened her tongue.
“I saw…I felt…” She faltered.
“Tell me what you saw first. Let the emotion follow.”
Sucking a breath in through her nose she dropped the other hand from her face to look her.
“I saw Prince John…and I….in…”
Gledora's eyes searched as she patiently waited.
“…in his bed having sexual relations.”
Gledora's thumbs stopped as her eyes slowly widened. She willed herself to continue.
“Through it all, I felt…attachment to him. Deep loyalty. Affection. Love for him from the core of my being.”
Gledora's brows slowly upturned, eyes now settled on hers.
“He will be your lover?” She cautiously confirmed.
“Yes, but somehow it feels more than that.”
“He will take you as his mate?”
“I do not know.”
Silence between them. She dropped her gaze to focus on their interlocked hands. The doubts and uncertainty bubbled up. The words spilled in rapid succession from her mouth.
“What will I do? How will I begin something so new in my old age? How am I to satisfy a man so young? How will I open my heart to this human? Why now? Why at this time would Lady Fate reveal something so unprecedented?
I thought she had chosen me to be unpaired. I came to terms with my isolation from affairs of the heart. I have never pursued courtship. I have never loved. I am essentially a new born babe brought into an unfamiliar circumstance. This whole situation makes me acutely aware of how woefully unprepared I am.”
A choked breath seized her ribs. She refilled her lungs as Gledora's thumb renewed their comforting strokes.
“I am unsure of what to tell you. There is no advice that comes to mind to ease your distress in this moment.” Gledora slowly replied.
With a long sigh, she leaned forward. She rested her forehead against Gledora's shoulder. A slow tender rub along her back.
“How will I focus when we are in the main conference hall? I will be unable to perform my duties. Seeing him will only bring back such distracting images.” She whispered.
“You will have to practice self discipline. Keep composure and professionalism.”
A wavering breath into her lungs.
“Why, Gledora? Why?” She whimpered in distress.
“Lady Fate has her reasons.” Gledora softly replied.
Another silence that was filled with the buzzing in her head.
“I have no one to converse with in regards to this…”
“There are Lesser Seers you could consult.”
She analyzed Gledora's robes.
“I do not wish to disclose it with the Human Lesser Seers. It will only be released as rumors. I do not wish him to discover it in such a way.”
“Then you will have to wait until you return to Thelmnaes to discuss the vision with an elven Lesser Seers.”
She didn't want to wait that long. It was now that she needed an explanation. Or anything to ease her mind. Anxiety pinpointed itself in her chest. With a couple fingers, she pressed the pads of her fingers into her sternum. She rubbed hard to try to distract herself.
“Let me retrieve Fae'Duc Jui leaves, and then you should rest for the rest of the day.” Gledora said, patting her hand.
“What if someone requests my presence?”
“You can cordially decline. Deliberations have not officially commenced.”
She nodded into her shoulder. With one last breath, she straightened again. Gledora's sympathetic but concerned eyes slowly looked her over. Another soft pat on her hand. She nodded her head in the direction of a door across from them.
“Make yourself comfortable, I will return.”
She watched her stand. Long after Gledora had exited, she stared at the door. There was a hand of weakness that kept her debating if she wanted to stand or not. With her brain urging her, she forced herself to stand. At last she noticed the plush rug under her feet. Warmth from low glowing pot bellied stove tickled her hand. The sensations created a temporary distraction.A look out of an extended half round window showed her that they were facing the training field. The view didn't completely register.
Flighty breath, and she stepped around the oval coffee table. She walked across the room towards the far door. The four post bed took up most of the room. It looked far more comfortable than the beds of the Inns they had stayed in. She melted into the comforter. Hugged a pillow to her chest. Begged the jitters in her bones to stop.
She wondered how long it would take to come down from this emotional torment.